Fading Away...

This heart of mine is rumbling, tumbling; so impatiently. These eyes of mine are losing sight; lights becoming bright. I can see from your face, you have a lot on your mind; deep and thoughtful, and lately more withdrawn. I reach out, but I grab only handful of dust. It is as if the lights are on but you are not home. Lately it is getting harder to tap into your feelings, like a zombie you walk the land of the living dead. But within I still sense the guy I fell in love with. Despise the distance I still see all the reasons my heart chose you; for your smile, your kindness and above all your loyalty.

I never thought you would touch my heart the way you have. You're all sweetness I need, yet this love of us is so bitter. At first I found it strange how my heart ached for you, but this constant pain I now welcome. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it burns. Above all it’s like my daily treat. I speak to the wind; it gently presses against my cheeks as if it wants to get my attention. Everything is a sweet memory of you. Right or wrong with you I agree.

I am torn between what I need and what I can’t have. I am awake in the middle of the night; thinking of you. Every night, when the lights are dim, I search for your face. In my dreams you show up, when people sleep tight. Eyes closed wide shut; aching with excited confusion. You are my light in the darkness, but I guess all I can do is dream about you as we are worlds apart. I feel stupid, although I am only human. Why do I make so many mistakes in this life of mine? It always seems like I am waiting. Waiting for what? I got to make my mind up before I run out of time.

I want you with me, and the feelings aren’t fading. I tried to forget you… yet I long for your love and time spent alone. All those times you had someone else on your mind, I had you on mine. I watched and waited for that eternal moment. You have you life together, and you're able to be there for other people; except lately for me.

In my mind I try to suppress these awful memories I can’t seem to erase, as I am lost into it. You leave me breathless; you have a face I can't seem to forget. I feel trapped between loving you and hating you. I can’t seem to distinguish my emotions. My life is like a sonnet; I realize that the things you have taught me are far too precious to be forgotten. I sigh out gently. Everything is soft; a kiss from my lips, a silent prayer, the warmth on a cold winter’s night.

I might as well face it, because I don’t have the words anymore. It is too late and I am letting you go. There is nothing I can do about it. I am having a total eclipse of the heart and I wish I could push it away. Love is in the air everywhere I look and it hurts. As I lean against closed doors and wipe my tears from my face, I realize that everything I have known, everything I loved fades away. Everything that was of comfort to me is not there anymore. The colors are fading away…The world is fading away…Dreams are fading away... You and I are fading away. Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain fading away. Listen to the beat of my heart slowly fading away