Lovable Anger...

I watch a purple sky fly over, in the middle of my lullaby I feel something breaking. How can I listen to my mind without breaking my heart? Seeing you standing in the rain with your coat on, dripping wet... Just looking... I tried to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. So I don’t.

Here I am today, empty of heart. It is so easy to find what is wrong, but hard to find what is right. I feel the words are locked inside me, and wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I will never know. I never knew how much intensity my imprisoned feelings could contain, but I learned it when I released them with you. A simple ‘I love you’ and kiss and a simple look from you swept me off my feet. I used to be desperately haunted by loneliness until I met you and now I am envisioning days filled with picnics in the park and candlelight dinners. I still believe in happy endings and am still willing to ride off into the sunset with you in spite of all that it’s going on with us. I still want to tell you how I feel, how I feel safe in your arms, how much I want you, how much I miss you and how I love you despite my broken heart. But the words are still locked inside my heart and all I feel is anger and love at the same time. Am I normal for feeling this way about you..?

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