Rain Upon My Heart...

I sit here in sorrow, wishing I could change my life. A pretty star shot from the sky, kicked from whatever it was running to. Rejected and on the run. I am searching for the words that can express the emotions that surge through my body like a searing storm. I know I have been stupid, very indeed, but I am begging for magic, miracle, something to take the good with the bad. I feel as if my soul has stolen my heart and wonder how I keep hurting myself. I never see it coming, but I feel it when it happens. Days pass into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. But I am already repeating every scene and mistake of my life. Every morning, I wake up smiling, doing the same stupid thing I am most famous for. I thought, just maybe, I can get through my thick skull to get back on and move to the next phase. I know I am not perfect, but one can dream. How perfection can lead to greater aspects of life, onto greater challenges of reaching that little further for the moon. If I could make it happen, I would make the sun shine for you. But please, know this, I am fighting, I am flying, believing and out there doing my thang. Let me tell you that the ride is going to be tough and hard. So let me apologise beforehand, although sorry is just a word. But it is the only word I have that can excuse my weird behaviours, eccentric personality and larger than life dreams. Its the excuse for letting you go and walking away. But one thing I will not use the word for is my love for you, for that was true. That was my silver lining behind the thick grey cloud. No one can take your place, because it feels so damn good. Know I love you and keeping you in a safe place that no one can take it away.