I seemed to be from a totally different time, a different creation, a different person. I have heard of these words, but what do they really mean? Words which made me feel like an outcast so I looked inward and found stories I could create to relieve myself of worldly drama; a rehab if you may.
A rehab based in a serene palace; with a mixture of wilderness and sensitivity, a huge skyline at night and an ancient place where koalas relax in the deep wilderness. Closing my eyes I drop my head in one hand, tilt it back and stare into the space. I am battling between my head and heart; struggling with the desire to do something. I can't seem to trust my heart lately; believing it will lead me astray. My head is the more sensible of the two; but do I really need sensibility?
I spend nights wondering what it would feel like to be protected and days looking for the light of love. When will the waiting end and the dream turn into reality? How long before long becomes soon and the waiting is over and tomorrow can start.
With two eyes of my own I made a choice; a choice of falling in love; a pleasure deep and true. Love was never finished for me. If I loved someone, I loved them forever. I know many will say that I could simply not have expressed love, but I know what my heart felt at that time. It felt as if I was magically removed from this world into a world of greatness. It was eternal, infinite and true. At least that is what I thought it was; how I was wrong. True, I felt something and it was love, but it wasn't true and it definitely wasn't infinite.
In the beginning it came to me as a combination of soft breeze and torturous tornado; it was exciting and new. Yet on the way, in moments of affection, my heart turned into liquid and then into stone in a matter of minute. My head spun as if on ecstasy. My heart sang songs unknown and the end reminded me of what could have been. Instead I was left with pain worthy of great poets and songs inspiring enough for singers.
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